Heather is Grey

Everyone on this rotating ball of water has a nemesis. Mine just happens to take the form of my biological fathers ex wife . A 51 year old bi polar schizophrenic with a hyper sexualized delusion of the world. In her prime she was a manufactured sun kissed blonde with a yellow Volkswagen bug stopping for gas at the Phipps owned gas station on Bridgeport Way in Tacoma Wa. Now she sits alone with dirty grey laced hair and a gimp arm plotting her next attack on those who have forsaken her. I was 11 years old when I met her and basically my father for the first time . She was nice , she bought me barbies and stuffed animals and really put forth an effort to be a supportive person in my ever changing life. Needing to leave the Bay Area ,I lived with her and my father in Gig Harbor Wa. The summer of 2001 was supposed to be temporary like all summers for a kid i guess. I never got to go to camp as a kid , I never got the experience of escaping and playing with kids my own age making nik naks and kayaking and what ever else they do at camp . But this summer was that escape, i was in a strange land covered in trees and people who called soda ”pop”. To be honest I liked the change of scenery , I was hopeful for the relationship I was building with my father . I really thought I was going to be happy and stable . No more moving in the middle of the night , no more new father figures who beat the shit out of my mom, just stability .It has been 20 years since that dream burned to ashes and now I relent on the memories that followed that summer in 2001. Due to my mothers passing in the fall of 2001 , I became a ward to the state again just a different state this time . I was put into the care of my biological father and his soon to be wife . As the years went on the abuse from her was well disguised by her degrees in child psychology . Yes my evil step monster is a shrink .She currently works as a counselor at the Womans Prison in Gig Harbor Wa , known to the locals as “the Purdy Prison”. No one believed me for seven years , I tried to tell my family the horrors I dealt with at home . The only sounding board and true support I had were my friends some I still have to this day and still remember themselves . Being bullied at school was nothing compared to the bully that collected my social security checks at home . She would write me letters telling me how much of a piece of shit I was, she would starve me which led to the bullies at school calling me anorexic . She would make it to where I couldnt do anything but go to school and work . She would slam doors and stomp so loudly on the floor above my head that I was scared to come upstairs . In the summer of 2005 my little brother was born . He was a light in my life that I always swore to protect even from his own mother. They say having a child changes you , to this day do not have any biological children of my own but on the July 6th 2005 I became a mother or just the worlds best damn older sister. I thought that she would treat him like gold since he was a carbon copy of herself … i was wrong. i have come to the conclusion that she never really wanted to be a mother . I dont know if its because of her mental illness or sheer lack or desire . My brother is now 16 years old and wants nothing to do with her. He turned out to be an amazing kid , a little bit ; nerd, hustler ,musician, and loving towards his friends and family. i like to think i was a big part of that . Over the years my ex step mother and i have to come to an understanding that she stays away from me , she is not allowed to speak to me or be anywhere i am . She broke this agreement last month. Some how she stumbled into the bar i work at . She sat down with my regulars and proceeded to tell them that she was my mother and that i was a skinny bitch and that she was going to kick my ass in my own parking lot . It was an extremely busy friday night and needless to say i had no time for drama of any sort… good thing i have a wonderful support system at work and a blog . She finally got the hint that she was very much unwelcome she paid her tab and stood outside the large front windows . She just stood there taking drags off her cigarette like she was Sharon Fucking Stone staring at me . Her dead eyes followed me every move i made , just glaring trying to prove her dominance . I snapped liked a monday night , i kicked open the front doors got in her face reeking of stale cigerettes and told her to get off the property. She argued with me saying ,” wow, i have you all riled up dont i ?” i than told her that if she did not leave i was going to call the police . she asked on what grounds ? the only and first thing i could exclaim was harassment ! and than the words i had waited 20 years to say came out . ”I am not a little girl anymore and you do not intimidate me !”. it felt so good David had slewn Goliath , i felt like that scared little girl was standing next to me in spirit finally being released finally able to have peace. So she sits alone in her house with no one she did this to herself . She has no loving family , she sits alone this broken 51 year old woman , she sits alone with nothing but a pack of cigerettes and her own delusions. Heather is and will always be , grey.