Jason ”My Pop” Slater

In my mind I toss and turn , it is 6 o’clock in morning on a crisp November Day or whatever this wee hour is between daylight and dead of night . I can not sleep , the memories of you rush in to my head and the uncontrollable tears follow . I miss my Dad , I miss his laugh I miss the simple opportunity to text him and tell him ”I miss you”. I have to write ;I have to get these emotions out for fear that they are going to eat me alive . Losing my mother sucked , dont get me wrong but this … this pain is a horse of a different color Dorothy. In my mind hes still launching me 10 stories in the air landing in the pool in Newark Ca. Or sitting on the couch holding his Hawaiian steel guitar saying ,”Kid , come over here im going to teach you how to play Lynyrd Skynyrd.”He is still telling me ”Fuck Em” whenever I have an issue of pretty much any variety really…I guess I never really thought of myself as a true ”Father’s Daughter” i hate the other term , it is grosse and uncouth . Only in this regard ofcourse. Iam , I loved my Dad more than anybody could ever imagine. He was my best friend ,I never wanted to disappoint him . Not to sound like a total asshole but if I had a genie pop up right now and he gave me the option , ”which one of your parents do you want me to bring back ?”.I would chose my Dad . No hesitation , no dramatic pauses. I wish there was projector screens shooting out of my eyes that could show in detail all the memories that I have floating around in my head . I wish the world could have seen the intimate family moments of the 3 of us snuggled up watching Austin Powers for the hundredth time ,little me laughing at obvious adult jokes that I wouldnt actually understand until years later.I wish they could see him as he was when he wasnt ”On”. Most importantly I wish he could read this right now . These are the things I wish I was able to say at his funeral . Although the raw emotion would have debilitated my speech …trust. Again my punctuation sucks but you get the gist . Unfortunately I do not have the help of Mr.Strauss Helping me relay what I have to say ,Damn ! if only I were a rockstar.