Baby & Firefly

My left boob is Baby and my right boob is Firefly. On November 5th 2019 at 9:30 AM, a mildly sedated version of myself sat in a pre operative waiting room . My body began to shake uncontrollably, my breath shortened , “ did I make a mistake ?” . Well sugar tits … it is too late now !!! You already paid over $8,000 for this long awaited source of happiness . I remember when my mother got her boobs done . The year was 1994 , I was only 4 years old . I thought my mother was the most beautiful creature I ever saw , she dressed up as a unicorn for Halloween that year and to me she was , she was a sparkling weightless unicorn with a long curly blonde mane . My example of beauty was always my mother , so you can see the disappointment I had when my breasts never grew to a voluptuous size . I toyed with the idea that someday I would have good credit and finance boobs .. never happened, or have a job that made enough extra income to just pay for them .. again never happened. Until a series of events in my life played together so well you would think god was the conductor. Last September 2018 my credit score was in the 400’s, by September 2019 my credit jumped 200 points putting me in the high 600’s. Now the credit part was worked out … on to the job . On July 12th 2019 I received a phone call from the bar I worked at telling me I was fired !!!! After 3 years !? How dare you ! I was so upset I wanted to walk in to the shit hole and throw a molotov cocktail right into their liquor inventory and watch the place burn. The only problem with that is … I talk a big game but prison would not be a fun place to land . So I got a job at their competitor , and soon found out that I was not being paid what I was worth for 3 years . My new bar had all the things I was lacking in my old bar . Finally a bar that truly treated me like family , appreciated me , paid me 3X the amount I was making and most importantly gave me a schedule that allowed me to have a life outside of work . It took less than a month to save up for my “new boobs” . Now back to surgery day… I was feeling pretty loopy at this point 3 gabapentins , 1 celecoxib , 2 Tylenol will do it . The room was cold but I did not mind they had me put on a brown fluffy robe over my surgical gown , the hair net was sea foam green and it was not scratchy , the socks were thick but not too thick with white rubber on the bottom and vibrant turquoise in color . The nurse left and came back around about 4 times until she finally summoned me for surgery . This was it I was walking in to something that could be my fate or could change my body to where I can be happy and fulfilled . The room was bright white with little nurses buzzing around like bumble bees . I couldn’t believe they were buzzing for me , they had me lay down with my arms spread out like a cross. The anesthesiologist took about 3 tries to find my vain , I guess i got little veins. The last thing I was thinking before being knocked out was …” wow, this nurse has a really pretty eye color “. I woke up confused I had no idea where the hell I was . During the ride home I felt like I had a chimpanzee sitting on my chest , every pot hole and speed bump felt like my Kia was jumping in out of urban meteor craters . The first 3 days were hell , the pain in my back was worse than the throbbing pulsating pain in my boobs . When pain Killers were not working I used a red volleyball to crack my back and help me sit upright . It now has been 6 nights since my surgery and I will be back to Bartending on Friday . Oh and I’m moving into my own place in 2 weeks …..